Summit Beer Hall Renovation Update
Sunday, April 1, 2018, By Summit Brewing
Summit Family,
As you may have read on the interwebs and/or seen with your very own eyes while drinking our beer, last September we launched a modest renovation project at the Summit Beer Hall. It’s not quite complete, but now that the weather is getting a bit warmer, we’re making great progress. So great, in fact, that we’re ready (and excited) to share our very first construction update.
Here are some of the new features you can look forward to experiencing at the Summit Beer Hall Of The Future:
- Full-service 24/7 Taco Buffet
- Live Mariachi band
- A waterslide but with beer
- Laser tag, complete with black lights and smoke machines
- Penny slots
- Petting zoo — Goats only
- On-site professional tax-filing services
- Balloon Animal Station
- Six or seven brand-new big-screen TVs showing the most recent episodes of Jon & Kate + 8 and Everybody Loves Raymond
- Fresh dairy (the goats are fantastic!)
- Coin-operated laundry
- Two ball pits — one for adults, one for kids
- Three CandyLand board games, yellow pieces not included
- Yahtzee game with only one die
- En suite bathroom with his and her sinks
- Roof-top terrace with plastic lawn chairs that stick to your legs when it gets hot
- A new Coldplay CD for the boombox on the patio
- Exterior climbing wall with rope ladders
- Monster Truck Mondays, pending city permit approval
- Three all-natural upside-down waterfalls — very ‘grammable
- Stationary bikes and elliptical machines, but no treadmills because they’re awful
- Private 300-person event space with interactive branded mural
- Exclusive VIP vaping area
- Make-your-own Belgian Waffle Station
- Tire-rotation and car-washing services for local food trucks
- Wild bird sanctuary (no cats allowed)
- Expanded parking options, plus shuttle buses leaving from the cul-de-sac every 15 minutes
- Quartz countertops and steel appliances, including a steam oven and custom ceramic backsplash
- Karaoke Brunch — Smash Mouth songs only
- A whole barrel of squeak toys for your dogs
- Dimmable Edison lights dangling everywhere you look
- Scratch posts for your cats everywhere you look
- Ferns everywhere you look
- Bartenders with curly mustaches everywhere you look
- Free moving boxes
- Baby-changing table behind the bar
- Just kidding
- None of these things are happening
- It’s April Fool’s Day
- Which you must know already
- The thing is, Friends, we are a brewery. We make beer.
- Honest-to-goodness, traditional craft beer inspired by old-world recipes and modern ingredients
- Consistent
- High quality
- Award-winning beer
- That’s what we’re all about at Summit Brewing Co.: No gimmicks. Just beer.
- The Summit Beer Hall remains open during construction
- We hope you’ll visit